DREAMING, LEARNING, THINKING and MAKING

Moving again

2008-05-20T22:53:00.004-04:00

Moving on Friday. Kind of stressful and awkward. I am moving near by my work. I am really excited. I thought we were supposed to move last week. The building wasn't ready. My plan was all screwed. But, it wasn't that bad. I can take Friday off so I actually got 4 days long weekend. I didn't plan to go anywhere. It's kind of waste. But, it's alright.

I have counted how many times I have been moving since the day I came to US. 11 TIMES BIG NUMBER, RIGHT. It's actually a lot. I moved every 3 to 6 months in the first two years. It seemed like I would never be able to settle down. I moved less in past 5 years. But I think it's still more than average people would move. lol

It's not easy to move around. PACK and UNPACK. Lot of energies wasted.......

It's a new start. I am looking forward to it. I hope I will stay longer this time. And, then, by the near future. I will finally own my apartment. :)

You, I and We

2008-05-10T08:05:00.002-04:00

When we were a single individual, we all spend a lot of time saying "I" - I want to do this, I need to go there. The one next to us whom we speak to is "YOU" - like "Do you want to come with me?" You and I actually are two very interesting terms in a relation. I mean relation in general. Two people always form a relation. It's always "YOU" and "I".

I am so used to be "I". New York could be lonely a lot of times. We all need to learn how to make ourselves happy. So "I" is always in the eyes we always use.

Then, one day. Life changed.

I started to learned how to re-phrase my sentence from "I" to "WE" as a two-people word instead of a one-person word. It's so interesting. "WE" becomes a more considerate term. We always need to think about someone else when we use "WE".

Words mean a lot of things when our life changes.

Spanish

2008-03-25T22:52:00.002-04:00

I learned spanish in college when I was in Taiwan. It maybe not a big deal for Americans to think about it. But, No one really learned spanish in Taiwan. All my friends were trying to learn Japanese, French or Germany. It was a little bit weird to learn Spanish at the time.

I actually had a hard time to learn Spanish since the teacher was from Barcelona. He speaks Spanish very well. But, he doesn't speak Mandarin. His english had this heavy Spanish accent. I already had a trouble to understand standard English at the time. So, forgot it. I was like in the fog and blind. Never be able to catch what he taught. Although I got lot of passion to be the class, it didn't go well. I had to give up my dream to go to South America... (Yes, That was my original reason to learn Spanish).

Fast forward the time. Now I work in fashion. Half of people speak Mandarin and the other half. haha.. Spanish. I felt so lucky that I can pick up my favorite language again.

Lot of people who speak Spanish don't English that well. So my learning is still on the word by word period. I still can't make sentences yet.

Maybe I should go to Spain for a while. lol

First Day in Shorts

2008-03-15T19:25:00.002-04:00

Today is March 15. The temperature was like 45. A sunny day. I decided to wear my shorts to go out with my heavy jacket and pull over. I feel so happy today. The shorts finally has been worn this year. It means winter is gone. Day light actually get longer and longer. So happy with sunlight.

Real or Not real

2008-03-15T00:19:00.003-04:00

I remembered when I first got into college, I was so eager to capture different knowledge bases outside of my comfort zone, those subjects I have never learned in my whole life. My college was great, the best one in Taiwan. hahah. So, there are so many weird and smart people do strange things. I had my very first philosophy reading in my first semester in a club.

The first chapter was discussed about the essential of modern philosophy. I always remembered what was written. It was about "Existence". It said you saw an entity in the same room. When you closed your eyes, how and why were you so sure it would be still there? What made you believe it was there. Was what we saw what it really was? It is always the doubt.

So real and not real are in your mind. If you believe it is there, then it will be there. Even you close your eyes.

So bro........ Think about it.... Nothing to touch lol!!!!!

Numbers and Health

2008-03-14T23:30:00.002-04:00

I guess two are not really related for most of people. But, it was related between my life and what I learned in my academic career. Those were long time ago.

I studied biostatistics in the graduate school and I won the math competition in high school. I am not here to talk about my glorious past. Numbers to me is like water to people. It's just so easy and being in my whole life. But, I found out something weird that started 3 years ago. I actually thought about one number and then another number actually was written. I didn't believe it in the beginning. Now, I actually misspell the numbers a lot. My brain wasn't coordinated that much well anymore. Oh well, they called that dyslexic..... Am I not that bad yet?

I fainted one time in Boston. We were in a fancy restaurant that Ming Tsai owns. The food poison was actually from lunch we ate. Fainting process was sort of very interesting. I was knocked out for 2 seconds. Losing conscious was unexpected. It was kind of half sleeping process. Was it like the death? Humm, not really sure. After that, I actually learned I inherited the fainted gene from my family. Ha! What a great gift!!!

Two accidents were in my life!

Memoir vs Fiction

2008-03-09T19:13:00.004-04:00

Everyone likes reality shows because they look so real. Same as memoir. We all love real things even we all know they were arranged.

Essays were the tough one. I love to read David Sedaris's book because it's so hilarious. But, now I was wondering how much he said in books is real.

The reason I mentioned this because my friends were talking about one article I wrote earlier. And, They were trying to go along with what in the article. hah

Hey guys. Maybe everything in the article was not real. Just try to make every of you happy only. hahah.

Who care the real thing? Even it looks soooooooo real.

Little Children

2008-03-09T18:38:00.004-04:00

I have the movie "In the Bedroom". The same director directed both movies. I watched "Little Children" yesterday. It wasn't as good as "In the Bedroom". I was kind of disappointed. The best shot in the movie was Patrick Wilson and Kate Winslet's nude sex scene.

The movie is actually awfully long. It lasts 2 hours and 20 minutes. I would think he can cut like 40 minutes off at least.

The story is about a stay-home father having an affair. Madame Bovary was part of discussion. I liked this part about the book, "Madame Bovary". We always have very high standard for women, specially fidelity. Kate Winslet actually says something nice after she has an affair with Patrick Wilson. I guess when we go on that certain period, we usually have more compassions with lot of imperfect things. And, we tolerate and understand more.

And, I fast forward last 40 minutes. I don't do that much....hahah

The movie spent too much time on a guy who is a sexual offender.

Oh well! There will be a next one.

Cute, Funny or Smart

2008-02-27T23:05:00.003-05:00

Which one do you want if you can only choose one in your life? Cute, Funny or Smart. It's hard to choose, isn't it?

I would like to be the funny guy somehow. Everyone likes the funny guy. I guess I always wanted to be that kind of person because I don't know how to make a goofy face. Grown up in a family that is very square and serious about how we look. Making fun and joke has never been part of our life. That's kind of sucks.

I talked to my dear friend, G, one time. He is always hilarious and super funny. He said I can learn little by little. hummmmmmm, I wish someday.... haha.

Who doesn't like funny guys?

Good Bye in JFK Airport

2008-02-24T22:03:00.005-05:00

It's not easy to say good bye, at least for me. There were always moments I don't really know how to deal with my emotion so I just pretend to be strong which is awkward.

As a boy who grew up in my mom's discipline, I only learned "boy doesn't cry". That basically deleted my emotion part from my life. But, it's also very common for my generation.

In past several years, I learned more and more how to express myself including sadness and happiness. It's not easy. But, it's great.

In mandarin, "Good Bye" were composed from two words. The first one is "Once Again". The second one is "See". So when we said good bye in Mandarin, you would expect see the person again with hope. Even we all don't know when will it be. Maybe another month maybe another year. Hope is always good.

Be a better man!!!!!!

Another Shadow in Miami

2008-02-24T21:22:00.002-05:00

Love the shadow of me. I think it's the only way to do myself a portrait beside using the mirror.

Digital photography is really amazing and changes our life. How we can simultaneously take pictures and delete whatever we don't want in a minute.

Shadow is always with us whenever we go. It's part of our life.

"Moment to be forever" is that we all tried to achieve in photography.

Who doesn't want to freeze the moments and to have wonderful memories. Just like everyone wants to be young forever.

Miami

2008-02-17T00:26:00.004-05:00

We got the same pose. lol Tried to make it fun. Sunny Miami...... awesome winter. After living in New York for long, love warm and sunny days in winter. I felt so lucky!

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T23:00:00.004-05:00

So today is Valentine's day, one of most romantic day in a year. I read news that American will spend 170 billions on this day. Hummmmm, it's really a big business. And, flowers are center of attention today.

Flowers are everywhere. I walked by streets. Everyone was holding a bunch of flowers on hand and on the way to somewhere. Even the delivery people have all the flowers.

I remembered I received my first flower when I was in college. My classmate played as a secret admirer to give me the flower. I was shocked. As a country boy from a small town, our emotions were more reserved, not very expressive. I didn't really know how to deal with it. And, most of my classmates are girls. I was that shy little boy who tried to learn the big city trick. That was my in contact with flowers.

Now, I am more grown up. I know how to deal with it now. I would be happier to get more flowers. lol

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD. HOPE YOU HAD A ROMANTIC DAY!

Sprint Ads

2008-01-30T22:58:00.000-05:00

I like this commercial from Sprint. It's very warm and interesting. I just read Wall Street Journal the other day. Sprint is on a crumble phase to lose their share on mobile business. This is really the first commercial I like from all mobile phone commercial.

It started in a park. Suddenly, the flash light goes on. I feel the connection.

The commercial created what cell phone could provide us. Those are the things we all already knew. But, the animation actually made it more real and vivid. The magic screen, the star light, the flying fishes, and the dancing flowers. They are all in front of you happily inviting you.

Neon lights always do the magic things to me. They are amazing. It brought me back to my childhood and connected to the current.

It is very original!!

Steam Room

2008-01-29T21:58:00.000-05:00

I go to NYSC. New York Sport Club. It also has a nickname "New York Sex Club". Lot of people would hook up in the steam room or shower place. But for me, I found it's kind of filthy in the shower room. I am no saint. I just don't like filthy places. haha. I hardly step into that area unless I bring my flip flops.

I do like steam on my body. It felt wonderful with a lot of steam surrounding you.

There was an accident I wanted to talk from 2 months ago.

I was waiting the clean lady to clean the house because I can't use the bathroom. I finally gave up so I went to gym to use the shower room.

After shower, I went to get some steam. Someone who talked to me a couple of days ago came in as well. We started to talk about life in general. And, then suddenly he saw my piercing. He wanted to pull it. I said "No". I don't like people to touch it. He said I am mean to him. Duh, I started to think about people.

So, it's my body. He didn't get my permission even I am half naked in steam room. It doesn't mean he has a right to touch me. Why people think they can do whatever they want and if they don't get it, it's someone else's fault. I don't get it.

Oh well, it's New York!!!!!

Facebook VS Monopoly

2008-01-29T00:34:00.000-05:00

I am kind of going on facebook everyday. It's kind of funny. The website invented so many kid's games to let you play. I don't think it's very healthy. Everyone turned to be like teenage girls. You watched every move of your friends. One day, I even received an application called "break up". The application will monitor anyone who tries to delete themselves from you as your friend. How funny it is!!! We are really back to the time that when we are not that mature. The internet made people immature again. Weird!

Just an observation!

2008

2008-01-25T00:02:00.000-05:00

I finally go on another year in New York. And, this is an exciting year for me to start in my life - a new chapter.

Every year, we all have some resolutions we want to achieve. I do have some this year.

I feel more bright this year. There are some I want to achieve. I will check them in the end of the year.

Life is surrounded by work, people and memory. I wish I will go somewhere on those parts in this year.

:) Hope I can see the light like this picture next to me.

Montreal

2008-01-24T23:42:00.001-05:00

It's been for a while. I have been crazy at work and lazy to write my life in general.

Inspired by my cousin. She lives in Belgium right now. My another cousin forwarded her blog. I finally realized how much I am missing to write my blog.

I went to Montreal on November last year. It was a hell of fun. Although it's soooooo cold, I did have a great time.

People are really friendly there. It made me want to pick up my French again. French is such an elegant language.

Montreal was one of oldest cities in North America.

I would like to go back sometimes soon. You know why lol

Class

2007-09-28T00:44:00.000-04:00

Started my fashion design classes in FIT four weeks ago. We started drawing croquis. I never did it before. It's very different as the life drawing I have done. It was more flat kind of drawing technique. It's like smash something to a flat surface.

South Beach Diet

2007-09-16T22:01:00.000-04:00

I have been having granola bars of south beach diet for my breakfast. It's so called high protein cereal bar. It is actually pretty tasty and very convenient.

This is the world of diet. We are all so afraid of gaining weight. hummm, maybe not all of us. We saw so many people who are size 20 and still have nonstop french fry. haha.

I found this bar from local supermarket. I was looking for some sort of protein bar but they don't really have any protein bar. Suddenly, I found this bar without cholesterol which is my major concern on my diet now.

I really like the taste. I am not trying to lose weight. It's just really good and easy to access. ha

Shaking Image

2007-09-03T16:56:00.000-04:00

Most of people would think this is a bad image and then discard from the camera. I discovered the shaking image when I was in college. I joined the photography club in college. One year, we were preparing the final exhibition. My friend looked at my film strips. He found this shaking image that a guy who was hitting the ball in the baseball field. It was an accident. And, the shade of shaking was quiet well. He suggested me to develop to the picture which I did. And, it looked a great. That was the first time I found the kind of image looked very interesting if you were lucky to capture in the right direction. I had that in black and white picture. Just a thought!

June, Two years ago.

2007-09-03T16:44:00.000-04:00

I like the clear image. Blue sky with small objects. This was the one. I was searching some images for my homework in my first class due on Wednesday. I really like this one.

Arizona

2007-09-03T16:39:00.000-04:00

Was in Arizona in June. Very different than east coast. It has a lot of flat land, cactus, little people. It was sunset. It's kind of a quiet setting we can see from calendar. Pretty real.

I actually like this except endless driving. :p

Wentworth Miller

2007-09-01T16:37:00.000-04:00

I went to connexion yesterday. I read an article about Wentworth Miller. There is a rumor flying around. And they got a picture that he hang with Luck Macfarlane. So I try to look into the whole thing.

For those people who don't know who is Wentworth Miller. He is a TV start from "Prison Break". You know everyone has fantasy about prison. lol And, he is certainly one of a kind.

I found two things that are very interesting. One is he is a mixed race. He didn't look like one. Second, he graduated from Princeton so he definitely is very smart. He wrote the thesis for gender identity for his graduation. Hummm, this is a very interesting point. He said because he is mixed race, he want to discuss more about identity issue. But, What I know that people who really get into gender identity are....you know.

I guess it's hard to be in the entertainment. We all thought America is libral and free of land. I felt here is also very conservative that two strong power collide.

I start to like him a lot. Let's see what will happen

Gym Rat

2007-08-10T00:02:00.000-04:00

We always say those people who stay in the gym all the time as gym rat. It's not a good comment to a person. It sounds very vain to be a gym rat. I guess New York City does have many vain people. After all, it's the city of everything.

I have been going to gym regularly lately. It's very interesting how I feel that I have an urge to go to gym. Does this make me a gym rat? haha..... I hope not.

We are kind of afraid those terms that would describe us as something shallow and vain. Maybe not everyone.

I started to think why we all have to work so hard to fit in some sort of society standard. The universal wise. People are community based spirits so there are always competitions between each other.

Hope I am not obsessed too much.

Annoying Day

2007-08-08T22:54:00.000-04:00

So we all know what happened today in New York. I spent 2 hours on the road. Finally I got to work and everyone is already there. Heavy rain shut down most of subway service. It made me to think about Taiwan. I grew up in a land where typhoon always passed by. Summer is always a flooding season. After typhoon, we lived in a wetland. We don't need to go to school. Water are all over the ground. You know kids like water. We step on the water like in this giant swimming pool. How much it would be.

I found that a city had less force of nature. It tended to be more fragile when it comes to this kind of things. Once it happened, we all suffered.

And, I found one little truth. As small as we all are, we all have to go with the flow in most of time. That's sad. We could hardly fight for our right. We paid for ticket. When the train wasn't on time, we have to blame ourselves for being late. It's like in the military. I used to serve in Navy. They said whatever you are late is your fault. You should program better before you go on vacation. What kind of world it is.

Oh well, it's life. At least, we all got on the train and finally got to our destination.

:)

Bastille Day vs Independence Day

2007-07-26T23:50:00.000-04:00

I still need to write this thing up since I am so lazy about it. Summer is within the pond. This year is the 9th year I have been in US. I have been many of Independence days. That's for sure. I watched fireworks a couple of times even took some pictures from my fool automatic digital camera. (OK, we used to call those automatic camera as "fool camera - means camera for fool). haha. Of course, the firework pictures weren't that nice to look at from those fool cameras.

Bastille Day is French National day. It's more about freedom. Humm.... all national day is all about freedom. Oh, I don't know what I am talking about. It's 3am in the morning. I had been in the crazy subway for more than an hour tonight because the wall was collapsed in a train station near where i live. I had to take two buses to get home.

So this is the year of change. It's the first time I have new feeling about Independence Day since I am able to celebrate it as an insider. It's kind of strange feeling but it also felt good.

We had a party at Bastille Day. I remembered it was 10 years ago. I went to Paris. I didn't know what happened. The firework started flashing in the sky. That's the moment I know it's a special day. Luckily, I got a chance to experience it. So, We were planning a party on weekend. I remembered the day. It was a symbol to my new life too.

The party was awesome. I really had a great time. I saw many friends I haven't seen for a long time. Everyone was so happy and excited. I almost cried when the special cake came out. My very dear friend, G, made a very special surprised cake for me. That was one of a kind. I was speechless.

I really appreciated everything everyone has ever done for me. And, Very first and interesting Independence day!

Bastille Day

2007-07-20T00:31:00.001-04:00

July 14th is Bastille Day. French National Day. I had such a wonderful time.

Height

2007-06-02T23:27:00.000-04:00

I saw "heights" at the other day. This was the second time I saw the movie. It was really moved. There were some moments I was really almost having tears in my eyes.

The casts are very strong. Glen Close plays the mother in the movie. Her acting was very precious and awesome. I love the way she talks and moves. So powerful. Elizabeth Bank is a cute girl who is going to marry a jewish boy, James Marsden. She is a photographer... Haha... My favorite job that is able to see people from the distance.

So the center of the story is pretty mellow and sad. Everyone was not happy with their life. Ha, it's very New York. We all live in this giant box. Layer of layer of people on top of each other.

The movie has a lot of moments between Jesse Bradford and James Marsden. Jesse decided not go to Glen Close's party and kept the date with closeted James. Love is sacrifice. We all have to be able to do that at some degrees. He only got to see him once a week because James is in closet and going to get married. Their story stacks one moment to the other until Elizabeth saw James kissed Jesse. I think everything broke.

The end of the movie is the scene that James begged Jesse to start all over again. Finally, They said "Hi", like neighbor.

Well, there is a hope. Even it come really in a hard way.

New York in My Eye

2007-05-09T23:52:00.000-04:00

I took the picture last summer. No one was in this quiet street whole time. I like the banner.

Learning French

2007-05-09T23:45:00.000-04:00

I tried to learn French by myself last year through some programs in ipod. It wasn't a very good idea. First, I couldn't really understand how they pronounce the sound. I couldn't see the mouth either. Second, I don't have anyone who can practice the language. Most of people who know French talk too fast to me. It sucks.

How much would it cost to learn French in France for a year? Just wondering.........

One night, Empire State Building!!

2007-05-08T21:56:00.000-04:00

I took this picture last September.
I stayed in my friend's apartment which I could see Empire State Building Clearly. The color of the light on the top of the building changed everyday. Sometimes, I understood the meaning But most of the time I didn't. What's about this Yellow and Blue light... But it looked great!!

My Old Christmas Tree

2007-05-08T21:44:00.000-04:00

I know it's kind of soooooooooooo late to post those pictures but those were the pictures I owe my aunt and cousins. So here they are. Did you see all the pictures and can you see who are there?

It's Taiwanese ornaments with Bronx Tree. Ha!!!

Little Patrick!!

2007-05-08T21:36:00.000-04:00

I finally fixed my computer to upload my pictures from my camera. Here is Little Patrick. I think he is adorable. And, he is pretty sweet too only when he is at home.

I hope to see him soon!!

Thank you!

2007-04-25T00:10:00.000-04:00

Thank you for everyone who sent or called me last week. It was an awesome week. I had a great time with great people in New York City.

I actually found that there was no difference between the night before and after my birthday. I am still breathing, eating and working. I still lifted same amount of weight in gym. Haha......... Our life goes as we live.

Time is always the stigma for everyone who is getting older. haha. That definitely means "Everyone" in this world. No one would be excluded. Time is very few things in the world that we can't go backward right now. People dream about time machine to travel back and forth. It's a dream. But, we all need to dream big. And, maybe one day, it will become true. Smile!!

Last Day of being 35

2007-04-18T23:29:00.000-04:00

Today is the last day that I am 35. Now it's the last hour. Kind of sucks. My thirty is going to pass half by next hour. My brother and my sister-in-law have their first baby 3 weeks ago. I finally found I am a uncle now. It's old old and old....haha

Struggle in life for a long time. Still struggling but..... I moved to Bronx a couple of months ago. I have a nice place. Just wait me to fill out the furniture. I learned a lot from the new job I am working. Just need to be optimistic about my life.

I guess I need to have wishes for my new another part of thirty. Wish everyone being happy!! Wish world peace. So cheesy!!!!!

Dog dance

2007-04-06T00:21:00.000-04:00

I still watch my friend's dog in midtown. He has this interested movement everyday when we go out for walk. He looks for a spot. Usually, it's always the same two spots. Then, he would walk back and forth like crazy. It looked like he is trying so hard to find something. Then, suddenly, after he was back and forth like 6 times, he would stop. That's his time to pou pou. He would be so happy after he was done with it.

To watch his rhythm to move was so interesting. I like to see he was so focus on something he needs to achieve. Don't we have that beauty when we work hard on something?

I like dog.............

To be continued!!

Back!

2007-03-18T23:49:00.000-04:00

I think I am coming back. I started a new job a couple weeks ago. It was kind of crazy, insane. Now, it would get more busier but I manage it a little bit better now. I will start to write again.

Sorry for being late!!

Sublet my apartment

2007-01-08T16:53:00.000-05:00

I need to sublet my apartment out from next week to the end of April. If you know anyone who wants to sublet the apartment, please let me know. I appreciate very much!!

Button Stores

2007-01-08T16:42:00.001-05:00

I walk on the street to shop fabrics and notions a lot. It brought up my memory about similar settings in a small town of Taiwan. My mom was a dress maker. She always brought me to the stores when she needed somethings.

Different cities and different countries. The settings in the store are pretty much very similar. I walked in the store. I pulled off the button box. The old images all came to my mind. Life is so different now and then. It's like we all tried to get back where we started. People, images, and memory.

I found my childhood memory was involved a lot with clothings. Custom made per se. My house used to have all Japanese clothing books. My mom would show the clients all different styles so they can pick one and remake them. It's fun to see how people have their own way to find the style that is only on 2-D dimension and try to become them.

I guess that is my earliest memory about custom made clothing( ha couture for sake). Custom made is about fit. Large size or small size. You have to make everyone happy. It's pretty much a salesperson's job. This is the world about marketing and sales. That's how we live.

I like things in my memory. It's so real!!!!

Congratulation!!

2007-01-08T16:35:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine won the prize from Taiwan to make his own first film ever in Paris. I am really happy for him. Studying films in France is not easy. We are some sort of struggling artists in mind. Lots of people end up having nothing. It's not always possible to have someone recognized you. Van Gogh passed away without anyone knowing he is a brilliant artist. Who will know his paintings are now highest price on the market.

Let me know what it is about!!!

Congratulation!!!!! You are the hero!!!

New Year Resolution

2007-01-08T14:39:00.000-05:00

We are getting older every year. I always think I should have a prompt resolution for every year. I ended up having none.

It' 2007. I have been in New York for 8 years. It's kind of a second home to me now. I haven't been in Taiwan for so long. I hardly remembered a thing in Taiwan. Friends told me it is very different right now than when I lived there. Images faded away. Most of friends fell apart. Most of my memories are involved with life here. I am kind of a person who tries not to look back nor stays in the memory.

I feel like a lot of things finally turn to be good now. Congress has a first female house speaker ever( ha, it's really a big deal for American). Democrats are the majority in both houses. It looks very promising that immigrants would get more benefits.

I work in fashion for 3 years now. I still find I have a heart for it although there are still lots of downsides in there. I did learn a lot beyond the school can offer. I saw "Devil wears Prada" first time in last month. It was hilarious and sad. It's very true how they portrait fashion people. We will survive. I have to start my own portfolio soon. I never had one when I start working the place I am working now. I have to think how I can present to people and how I will be perceived.

Ha, this world is all about marketing yourself.

I am quitting a side job so I will have more free time to do my own things. I got a dress form so I don't need to rely on the studio I am working with. Thinking about helping some of my friends to make them some dresses so if anyone ever wants to do that. Let me know. :p

I still don't know what my resolution should be. Relationship is always something we all want when we grew older. But, lol it never comes. Just laugh about it!!!!

Happy new year although it's kind of late. Glad to be alive in 2007

A week before Christmas

2006-12-18T14:13:00.000-05:00

Finally, I got my Christmas tree yesterday. I don't know that well in Bronx yet so I have been waiting for my neighbor to get trees together. We went up to Fordham road. That was the most excited thing I did in whole weekend.

I have been working a lot. It made me totally grumpy for the moment. I haven't done any Christmas shopping. Everything was far behind. It's very sucks. Most of catering work will be end of this week. Then, I will be able to relax a little bit. And, my mood will feel better. That's why everyone needs to have some rest in between.

I started decorating my tree. My cousin and aunt sent me the ornaments from Taiwan. They are qiote different as I can find here. It's so much fun to hang all the stuffs on the tree. But, it's kind of lonely to hang alone. I guessed I wasn't grown up in a religious family like most of American did. So, I don't have too much feeling about it. Christmas for me is more commercial to me than the meaning from religion.

Hope I can have some help next year when I have a tree again. :)

December

2006-12-07T18:10:00.000-05:00

I was flopping my notebook today. I saw winter is starting within 2 weeks. It's kind of depressed to read that notion. It means I will have to suffer in itching situation for another several months, my dry skin problem. The daylight is getting shorter. I feel like when I get out of the studio every night, I can't really see anything clearly anymore. I always wanted to rush myself home and relaxed.

Christmas is on the corner as well. Christmas is one of my favorite holiday although I am not religious at all. When I passed by Macy's everyday now, it's always crowded as hell. It's a shopping season, Christmas gifts and everything. I didn't need to shop that much for my family like last year. It's kind of losing fun before Christmas. But, I am still getting my Christmas tree this year soon. I love Christmas tree. The smell of the Christmas tree in the apartment is like perfume spray in the air. It never ends. I missed it. I just need to find it around the neighbor.

One of my coworker told the other coworker he needs to find a date before Christmas. This is a funny effect that when winter time comes, specially Christmas is on the corner, everyone feels like cuddling becomes the most important thing to do in the life. It's cold outside, so basically, cuddling is the best thing to do. Besides, Parties are all over the city. It's hard to go out without a partner or a date. Ahhhh, winter time effect.

I guess this world was never design for single. I took a class in college, named Single. It was very interesting to read the study of single effect. And, how inconvenient the world is against to single.

Wish everyone finds their dream date before Christmas! It would be nice. Happiness!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2006-11-23T09:01:00.000-05:00

Today is Thanksgiving!! It's like lunar new year in Taiwan. Foggy and cold. This year seems very different. My brother was here in past several years so we always celebrated the holiday together. I found when I get older, family play big part of role, specially relationship never happens to me.

Everyone got a turkey from landlord in the building. I don't know what I am going to do with it yet. My friend, C, said he would wait until Christmas to roast the turkey. Hum, another month away. I don't know the meat would last long. I never cooked the turkey before. Maybe it's the time to learn it.

I am thinking about to cook something from my cook books for today. It's a four day holiday. I need to clean my apartment and open my cook book I haven't cook for a while.

Cook is fun. My therapist said it's very therapeutic for a person. I believe so too. I felt happy and joyful. And, it's a quick accomplish. Food makes us happy. That's why we all have a big dinner party in holiday.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

New apartment

2006-11-21T19:14:00.000-05:00

I finally moved. It's so much relieved. I was up until 4 am on Saturday morning. I tried to finish up packing. So, I didn't get much sleep. Luckily, I had the mover to move all the stuffs. This was the first time I stood there and watched. It's so much easier in that way. And I paid almost the amount of money that I rent U-haul and moved by myself and friends.

They did a decent job. It started 9:30am and ended 12:30pm. I was drowning in my boxes in my living room. My friend came over to help me unpack. We set up my bed, sofa and TV. Suddenly, he said TV and futon looked tiny in the living room. I looked around it's true. I only use less than half space in my living room. How funny it is! I love it. I can really relate to where I live now.

I have two friends who live in my building. One is right above me. And, the other one is on the second floor. On Sunday, we had a dinner party in my dear friend's apartment on second floor. It was warm and joyful. I felt like it's so different as how I lived before. Just like the movie, His secret life, we all formed a new family by friendship. It's welcoming.

People always tell me how danger Bronx is. I just don't see the danger in the neighborhood. This neighborhood changed a lot. For example, there is no bar in 24 hour grocery store. It's the sign how safe the area is. It's even better than spanish Harlem where I used to live before. My building is a very nice building. The landlord put down a lot of work to make more friendly and homey. Haha, I want to move every of my friends in here.

I am really happy with my new apartment.

She's the man

2006-11-21T18:54:00.000-05:00

After "Step up", my friend suggested me to see "She's the man". It's a YA movie. There were lots of skins showing.

It's a funny comedy for sure. It only proved one thing that not every good looking person has a very good social skill. They might be very shy and have no girlfriends. Not every girl is attracted to the best looking guy in the guy. you always want to have someone who understand you more. It's a very lesbian movie. lol

Anyway, I intend to see all Channing Tatum's movie. I think he might be a new star soon. It's fun to watch!!!!

Run Away

2006-11-15T20:18:00.000-05:00

My friend, S. is applying the NYU film school. I am happy for him. There was the requirement that every applicant needed to write the concept of the feature film you wanted to direct for your graduation. He wanted to write something about the memory of his father and his friends in New York. And, he decided to write a road trip movie. I personally like the road trip movie. It's like I went to candyland that I always found some exciting candies unexpected. Friend, M helps him rewrote some part of the scripts. I love what he wrote "No matter how far away we run, it seems we always end up where we started". It's very "Sex and the city".

I think it's very true what he said. We always try to run away from someone, something or somewhere. That's the human nature, right? Specially in the big cities, everyone looks for something also they run away from the other thing. Cities gave you the mask. They provide you a shelter and make you feel alone.

I felt like we all ran a lot. I moved from Taiwan to New York. It was 10,000 miles away. Distance made me feel safe from gossip and from high pressure of expection. It was the easiest way to deal with all immature thoughts.

There are many ways to run away from life without actually running, drug or alcohol. Name some of them. Alcohol is an amazing thing. It slows down your mind and reaction. Good or bad. You can avoid things successfully.

I have run from my life. Now, I kind of paid for the price. But, I felt happy I actually start facing them now. It's lot of work but gradually, I do make difference. Therapy does help me a lot.

Poster Boy

2006-11-15T19:26:00.000-05:00

I got home quite late last night. I went to 7A with W and had a great time. I was excited when I saw DVD in my mailbox. I first heard the movie in Tribeca Film Festival like 2 years ago. The topic was sort of controversy and it got a pretty good review at times. I decided to watch the movie and then went to sleep. Bad...huh

I was disappointed about the movie. The lighting looked like it was a documentary. The story was told by poster boy, Henry, in an interview with a newspaper. I didn't like those scenes of the movie.

There are some enjoyable moments about the movie. But, there were not many.

The story was kind of odds to me in some point. When Henry found out the other kid, Anthony, was trying to trick him in the political way. He got really hurt because he hardly trusted anyone in the world. So, next scene cuts to Anthony wanted to explain to him. This was not very human being at all. Henry was in his apartment. Hoe the hell Anthony can go through if he hated him so much and he only knew him for a day.

Don't need to see the movie unless you have nothing to see.

The Queen

2006-11-14T21:05:00.000-05:00

"The Queen" is a mocumentary movie. The movie tried to recover how British royal's reaction with Princess Diana's death. The acting was terrfic. The story was well done. But, I didn't feel like I love the movie. Hummm, There are always some movies that are really great but I don't feel the same way as people emotionaly.

So British accent is very hard to understand. I listened very carefully but i still don't get some of jokes. Sadly, cold and non human.

There was a point was very interesting. I didn't get to see a scene that the kids talked or spoke out. But, the queen and the princess kept saying they want to protect them. It's so funny that we all tried to manipulate what kids want instead of letting them speak out

But it's the joy to see the movie.

Moving

2006-11-14T20:09:00.000-05:00

I am in the process of moving to a new place. I digged into my closet. I was drown into my junky closets. I found the more I clean my closets, the more stuffs were found. I was surprised how much shit I had. Boxes of boxes were packed. I guess I have some sort of collective personality. Once it goes in, it never goes out. And I hardly see them once in a blue moon.

I didn't like moving although I have moved a lot after I came to US. I moved almost every 6 months in the first 3 years. I have lived in Flushing, Astoria, downtown jersey city, spanish Harlem, East Village and Brooklyn. Not even count those short period of time where I stayed. I met people from all over the world that crawled into the same block. It's like moving around the world in the microscope without actually flying. Different parts of city look very different. It's like a little union nation. I remembered there is an ad in F train. It describes different stops that has different attractions and neighborhood. Korean, Russian... blah blah.

That's the best thing about New York. When I walk 30 blocks far, I met the different world. How wonderful it is in this city! That's why Madonna has a song "I love New York".

That's why we all stay in New York.

The Break-Up

2006-11-14T19:38:00.000-05:00

Another Jennifer Aniston's movie. ha... Not very excited to everyone. I mean both of them are all very good actors. The movie is well done. I like the story. It was very real in relationship.

Vince always gets what he wants in life. He is kind of a selfish person. Jen is very artistic and girly also has the manipulatory personality. It's very typical girl vs boy.

There are lot of selfish people in the world. It made them to become some sort of bad guys whom girls love in the first sight. :p But in the long term, we all realize that's what we hate so either we leave them alone or we suffered and pretended to be happy. Is it too late to turn your bad to good?

Girls tend to manipulate the situation. Some boys are good at that too. I don't think it's very healthy either. Lot of time it ends up getting nowhere. There are always reasons doing this. But, you'd better to be careful. You could lose everything once the other person found out.

We are so easy to give up in relationship. So, the break-up is alaways the best solution instead of dragging in the relationship. If we ever stop and think and try to work things out, maybe the world will be more cheerful. Just some thoughts.

Lunch Break

2006-11-09T21:29:00.000-05:00

I have been doing some sketches on my lunch break. I sat on a bench and took out my sketch book. It was relaxing. I achieved a lot of work.

I saw so many people come to this small square for lunch break. I start to wonder what is their life like. What do they do around the building? A designer? A architect? Or a marketing executive. They are something about human beings intrigue me that how they dress compared to what they do.

Observing is one of things we all do constantlyl. We observe our friends, our bosses. We observe because we want to understand them and try to make a right step with them. I don't know how I will do if I lose my eyes.

Friends with Money

2006-11-09T20:28:00.000-05:00

I like Jennifer Aniston a lot. That's really against all my friends' love. They all go for Angelina Jolie because she is wild and attractive. And, she knows how to steal men. hahaha.

Lots of shows and movies like to have 4 main characters in the shows. The most famous one would be "Sex and the City". These four women weren't like women in "Sex and the City". Not so much drama and fight. They are more real like the women in your neighborhood. They gossip. They talked behind the back when the person is not around. Very real and true.

It's really hard to be friends if you have different social economic status. The movie didn't talk about this too much. Everything in the movie was light and in the air. It's sort of like a comedy. But not the movie will make you laugh to death.

Metrosexual men was one of the topic in the movie. It is very interesting that how two metrosexual men were portraited. One guy started to talk to the other. I thought he was a closet case. But, the movie didn't go deep enough to find out their real skin. I feel like that's the essence of this movie. There is nothing I can really say it's deep enough in the movie.

When we live with someone for so long, we used to what they talked, how they walked. And, one day they disappeared. We would start to miss everything. Ha, it's so pathetic.

Not a great movie. But, I do like Jennifer Aniston. I like her being a pothead in the movie. :) Like, I will watch all Julia Roberts movie. Even it's really bad.

We somehow don't know what we want in the life. Is it very important to know what you want in life? Or, most of people just want to know how much you make in your life. Happiness comes with money???? I doubt it.

Marie Antoniette

2006-11-06T14:03:00.000-05:00

Marie Antoniette is the movie that is based on the Queen of France, Marie Antoniette. I think everyone read the history when we were younger. I saw the movie last night. I have a little bit different idea about her now. And, then I just read some of her auto biography from Wikipedia. It's very differetn as I knew before.

The movie was directed by Sofia Coppola. I saw her last two movies, Lost in Translation and Virgin Suicide. Lost in Translation was very poetic to capture two foreingers who were drawn in Tokyo. Cultural difference made all of us be very hard to adjust ourselves sometimes.

I really like the custome in the movie. I mean it's not very easy to see the detail of all clothes but they are very colorful and look happy. Those shoes look very delicated. I am not an 18 century expert but I do feel the dresses were very french and in the period.

I was in Paris one time. I actully went to Versailles for a visit. I have seen all the rooms and settings in the movie. French preserves everything very well. It made me want to go again. hehe.

The great thing was I actually re-read some articles about her. And, I don't think she ruined France at all by spending money. I mean when you were born in Royal, you don't really know what's the poor like. She is pretty strict with her daughter from the history I read. She taught her how to love people and shared the wealth with them. That's not easy.

B&B

2006-10-30T13:51:00.000-05:00

This have nothing to do with Bed and Breakfast. For me, It's Brooklyn and Bronx, two different boroughs in New York City. I live in Brooklyn in the moment and in the process of moving to Bronx. One is down south and the other one is up north. There is the map on the left so it's from one pink to another pink. Pink boy heheh.

I love Brooklyn. Brooklyn once was the 4th largest city in US. There are so much to offer-- Beaches, Botanical Garden, Museum, and special BAM( Brooklyn Academy of Music). It really makes Brooklyn differently. So why do Iwant to move if there are so many wonderful things in Brooklyn? It just takes me too long to travel back and forth. besides, I have some friends who live in the same building to make my life more fun.

My memory about Brooklyn is always lovely. There are more brown buildings than those modern ugly houses. Prespect park is like a small version of central park. There are a lot of offer. The movie, the object of my affection was filming in Prospect Park. It's one of Jennifer Aniston's movie.

The new apartment is near by Yankee Stadium. I am excited to move. There will be a lot of sunlight in my apartment compared to the one I am living now and eat-in kitchen. :) It's just a real deal. The only thing I need to do now is to work hard and make more money to pay the huge rent.

I live in New York for almost 8 years. I moved around a lot. I have lived all different places within the city, Flushing, Astoria, East Harlem, Brooklyn, Jersey City. Oh, Jersey City wasn't considered as NYC. haha Bronx will be the 4th borough I will live in NYC. I am proud to live in the different part of the city. I have chances to observe this most hybrid city in the world.

Bronx was always part of New York City if you go to New York Public Library. There is a Sizzler in Bronx. I don't know anyone would appreciate that. But, My friend and I were so excited when we found out the restaurant. It's part of our memory to Taipei. I remembered "all you can eat" was the big thing in Taiwan in 90'. Sizzler was everywhere. After "all you can eat" phenomenon blows, all the restaurants are gone. It's so funny we found it when he had to fix his car in Bronx. We couldn't wait to get in to enjoy the meal. It's more about memory than meal itself. Like 2 kids in theme park, everythings came back.

So visit me sometimes after Thanksgiving. I will be in Bronx for a while.

Purple

2006-10-23T16:00:00.000-04:00

Empire State Building has the light on every night. It always has different colors when there was a special event in the city or not. I was house sitting last night so I got a chance to see the light. Last night was purple. I used to have a purple shirt when I was in college. I actually liked it very much. It putted me in a relaxed mood. Human being is a visual animal. Color does play with our feeling in our life. I liked purple. It's has Velvet feeling. It's soft, elegant and mysterious.

I was surprised "purple" was on the top of the building. I don't know does it have any meaning or celebrate something? I do like it beside it always shoot blue, red and white. :)

The Book of Daniel

2006-10-23T11:55:00.000-04:00

The show had been canceled after a couple of episodes on air because the content was too controversy and all Christians protested the show. It's how funny "The weed" wasn't canceled even the show teaches people how to bake the weed.

I saw the first 3 episodes. They were very interesting. It talked about sex, sexuality, racisim, drugs, stolen money, and alcohol. Everything was circled around the "Faith". So, Rev. Daniel has a gay son, a daughter who sells the weeds to buy a software, an adopted son who sleeps around, an alchohol wife, a dumb sister-in-law. How lucky he is!! He has this dysfuntional family that no one ever had. That makes the story special.

The gay son was played by Christian Campbell who played Gabriel in Trick. I love the movie, "Trick". It's light and has a happy ending. The movie actually made me smile a lot when I watched. Peter is out to his family except his grandpa who is an old and conservative reverend. His grandpa set him up with a girl when he was in the church. And, he hit on her brother. Hummm it happened all the time. He took her to see a broadway show "La Cage Aux Folles". How gay it could be! So Peter didn't want to come out to his grandpa because he didn't want to hurt him. We heard this words all the time. Is this still a closet case? That's the story wants to discuss about.

An adopted son who is a chinese and dated a white girl who is the daughter of his father's coworker. The girl's mom wanted seperated them because he is an asian. It's a very simply racism thing doesn't have any depth at all.

The show is very entertaining. I will get another disc in a couple of days. It discussed about the "Faith". I was raised in an atheist family. I don't really know how strong the christian faith can affect the people until I came to US. Faith can make you love or can make you hate people. It really played by someone's hand. I do have my faith but not with God or any spiritual things. We need to believe something to live on this uncertain world. Like the faith, we all find someone we will love someday. It sounds like a joke. haha.

Keep tuned! I will be back when I saw more episodes.

Songs In my Ipod

2006-10-16T13:03:00.000-04:00

I don't have very good music taste. I like all cheezy songs. Those really put me in the mood. My ipod loaded many songs. Recently I have been listening Rob Thomas, Moby and Nick Lachey. I really love one song from Rob Thomas, Now comes the night and Moby's Where you end.

Now comes the night
---------------------------------------
When the hour is upon us
And our beauty surely gone
No you will not be forgotten
And you will not be alone
No you will not be alone

And when the day has all but ended
And our echo starts to fade
No you will not be alone then
And you will not be afraid
No you will not be afraid

When the fog has finally lifted
From my cold and tired brow
No I will not leave you crying
No I will not let you down
No I will not let you down
I will not let you down

Now comes the night
Feel it fading away
And the soul underneath
Is it all that remains
So just slide over here
Leave your fear in the fray
Let us hold to each other
'Til the end of our days
------------------------------------
Rob Thomas has a warm voice when he sang this song. I felt like i saw a light in the dark. A winter night, a person, a lonely small apartment, and a glass of red wine(oooops I don't drink when I was at home). There comes the hope to tell you everything will be alright.

We all are afraid to be lonely. New York is the city that everyone pretends to be so busy that no one would see your loneliness. Rob Thomas sang "No you will not be alone." I love that. I can see that one dim light that leaves for the last one who comes home.

Where you end
-------------------------------------------
Some things fall apart
Some things makes you whole
Some things that you find
Are beyond your control

I love you and you're beautiful
You write your own songs
What if the right part of leaving
Turned out to be wrong

If I could kiss you now
Oh I'd kiss you now again and again
'Til I don't know where I begin
And where you end

Thought I fell in love the other day
With an old friend of mine
I was running kisses
Down every inch of her spine

We had the roof down
The sun came shining in
The black fact is
That I was thinking of you

If I could kiss you now
Oh I'd kiss you now again and again
'Til I don't know where I begin
And where you end

I slept in the sun the other day
I thought I was fine
Everything seemed perfect
'Til I had you on my mind

I tried to love you
I did all that I could
I wish that the bad now
Had finally turned into good

If I could kiss you now
Oh I'd kiss you now again and again
'Til I don't know where I begin
And where you end

If I could kiss you now
If I could kiss you now
If I could kiss you now

Oh where you end
Is where I begin

Oh where you end
Oh where you end
------------------------------------------------
Where I end. I don't really know. I like the idea Moby sang "if I could kiss you now, I will kiss you again and again." It's so romantic and poetic. There is a hope in the song too. Where you end is where I begin. We all know when someone cuts you off from them, you are in the end and desperated but also it's your shining begining. We will have a new start and it's all good because the end is the begining. hahah, so ZEN, right? No end will not have a begining. Now, I feel like I am playing these two words now.

I might be end somewhere. But, it doesn't matter. I will have a positive attitude to begin. :)

The Shipping News from Annie Proulx

2006-10-16T11:55:00.000-04:00

Alright! I hope I wouldn't get into copyright issue. I just want to type the first four paragraphs of her book. And, why do I think it's very interesting?
Here is from the book
=====================================================================
Here is an account of a few years in the life of Quoyle, born in Brooklyn and raised in a shuffle of dreary upstate towns.
Hive-spangled, gut roaring with gas and cramp, he survived childhood; at the state university, hand clapped over his chin, he camouflaged torment with smiles and silence. Stumbled through his twenties and into his thirties learning to separteate his feelings from his life, counting on nothing. He ate prodigiously, liked a ham knuckle, buttered spuds.
His jobs: distributor of vending machine candy, all-night clerk in a convenience store, a third-rate newspaperman. At thirty-six, bereft, brimming with grief and thwarted love, Quoyle steered away to Newfoundland, the rock that had generated his ancestors, a place he had never been nor thought to go.
A watery place. And Quoyle feared water, could not swim. Again and again the father had broken his clenched grip and thrown him into pools, brooks, lakes and surf. Quoyle knew the flavor of brack and waterweed.
=====================================================================
I guessed it's enough. It's only 4 paragraphs. But, I really get glanced to know who he was, what he liked, what he feared. It made me wanting to read more. I knew she is the winner of the pulitzer prize. No doubt the book was so vivid and attractive.

The reason why I typed those paragraphs is because we were trying to formulate some scripts. I always think I am a bad storyteller. I like to read good novels and watch interesting movies.

Here, Quoyle, what an interesting name, is a very ordinary man who lives in an ordinary life and is kind of boring himself. One of the very interesting point from Annie Proulx was the names of the characters in the book. Quoyle( a coil of rope).... I haven't heard anyone who has this kind of name. Graphically, the name gives me some kind of tie, curve and going through because you see "Q", then "O" and then "Y" "L". The rope is kind of no strength, sloppy and can be molded whatever you want. It's pretty much him in the book. Rope also can form many beautiful knots. There is a theme in the book that is about knots. Every chapter has a knot that represents what the story is about. It's so cute.

Tell me what you guys think! Thanks!!

Hey, Maurice! Throw some ideas from your thought!

Behind the Red Door

2006-10-09T11:53:00.000-04:00

I was bored yesterday. The movie was on Logo channel. I saw some scenes before but not a whole movie. I likeed Kiefer Suferland from "24" who is a great actor. The movie was talked about a person who is dying in AIDS wanted his sister to come back to Boston and took care of him in a last few months.

Although the charactor is gay and has AIDS, I felt like the movie tried to deal with their emotion to each other and how family was broken. The sister was tried to search for the family secret and reconcile themselves.

I love how the two characters were portrayed. Roy( Kiefer Suferland) is a strong character that he would try so hard to get anything he wants. He forced his sister to stay and took care of him. So, I found one thing is very interesting. We somehow all inherited the bad part of our parents whom we hate so much when we were kids. We would performed the same kind of behaviors in our life. I guessed we adopted what we learned in our early life through the time. That's how we find our awkard behaviors to make other people unhappy. I remembered my mom always ordered me around which I don't like very much. One time I was with a friend. He told me I did the same thing as my mom did it to me. I felt very bad. Returned to the movie, in order to get his sister to stay with him, he would yell at her to make her feel bad and stayed. I see strong emotion in him and couldn't be out. It's like a volcano that always want to come out.

There were a conversation between each other before he passed away soon. Roy asked Natalie( his sister) how come she never had any long term relationship. She answered she liked to be alone. But, he said "No one prefers to be alone. The first step is scary but it's worth it." In this world, being alone is always the easist strategy to deal with complex of the emotional rollercoaster. We are all afraid to be hurt. But, that's the life, right? Grown up is to learn how to take the wound and become a positive attitude.

To the people who are brave enough to embrace the relationship!!

Shortbus

2006-10-07T11:11:00.000-04:00

Shortbus started showing from last Friday. It was John Cameron Mitchell's new film. I thought it should be very interesting. I am not sure anyone have seen his last film, "Hedwig and the Angry Inch". It was a movie that was full of dramatic moments and not very realistic. I liked the direction of the movie but there were some moments I didn't like. But, in a whole, it's a good movie.

Shortbus was a really fun movie. I like the begining of the movie. It started the camera focused on the model of NYC which is like lego architechtures. Following the camera, we fly in the sky of New York City. It's really cute and sweet. After flying into someone's window, the movie has some shocking images, real sex on screen. Haha, yeah, no fake scene. It's not very common in an american movie( it happened more in european movies because they are more relaxed about sex). It's not a porn movie. But, it's real. It made me remember I saw "37°2 le Matin (Betty Blue)" in the first time when I was a freshman in college. My libral school always got us to see some unrated movies. I saw a couple making love on screen in the first. That's quite an learning experience in my early school life since I was a country boy. lol

Sex is very important as a human being although most of animals only have sex on the specific season, like when they need to be productive or something. For people, sex is not just restore the gene either generate more people. Sex is also full of joy and fun to do. I read an article that dogs become more active in sex after they live with human being longer. I don't know it's a good thing for a dog lol.

Sex is the main topic in this movie. There is a straight couple and a gay couple in the movie. In the straight couple, the wife is a sex therapist and never come in her sex life. Haha how ridiculous right? When she needs to tell her clients how wonderful the sex is and she never have the sex with fullfillment. The husband always thinks he couldn't satisfy his wife. Maybe he is too small or doesn't last long enough. ha, it looks like this is an universal man's problem. And then, there is a gay couple who tried to open their relationship because one guy thinks he can love more than one person. And the other one has been filming himself and his boyfriend because he wants to suicide soon.

We all have frustration in life just like our sex. I saw the movie last weekend. I couldn't really remember the detail of the movie because I didn't write the note. And, my laptop is really screwed right now. I actually tried to write this note last week. My computer was crashed when I wrote 2/3 of it. And, I didn't have a chance to pick it up at all. Those are some feeling I have for the movie.

Shortbus is like rollercoaster ride. I felt a lot of sad moments in the movie although there are some happy parts. We always say commmunication is a very important element in our life to be in the relationship. In terms of sex, we are so lack of courage to talk about it.

I love this movie. But, when I was in the movie theater, there was a person who is soooo annoying who sits next to me. He laughed when no people laughed and he was making sounds like no one on his side. So pissed off. I have to be careful who sits next to me next time. hah

Storyteller

2006-10-06T00:11:00.000-04:00

I don't think I tell the story very well. I always admire those people who can make the story so clear and pretty. I think there are lots of elements to make a story readable.

I am impatient when it comes to tell the story. I always cut the road short. It makes my story more boring ever.

Maurice, you are so lucky to be a film maker. Wish I have that ability to tell the tale well. Duh.

For all the playwright in the world. You guys are the best!!!!!

Wedding Event

2006-10-02T16:32:00.000-04:00

I went to work for a catering job yesterday. It was a wedding event for the evening. Lately, I have been reluctant to work for the catering company. I am kind of tired and overworking everyday. Besides, I am preparing my nursing dress project. The life is kind of very stressful. I don't control my mood very well. No love life either. :(

The catering jobs I had in past couple of months were mostly wedding events. I got the chances to see how Americans' weddings like. It was very interesting. It is totally different aswe had in Taiwan. American weddings are more party oriented including the dinner and dancing. In Taiwan, the weddings tend to be more like a serious dinner event. Eating and eating. And, Champagne toast was the very important part in American Wedding. It forms the completeness of the wedding.

When I am getting older, I start to see things differently. I never thought about the wedding is the meaningful binding until recently. What you got was the advantange of the legal binding. After I worked for many wedding, my world is changed. There were some sparkling moments in the events. People cry when they get married. It's the joy that was surrendered them. They might not awared of it but the affection they expressed was impeccable.

The wedding was in a gay couple's house yesterday. The house was amazing. It's huge. Really huge. There is the view of Manhattan skyline. They have two kids. They must make like millions to support the life style they have now. The house can easily fit in 80 people without any problem. This was the first time I met gay couple with kids in real life. It was vey interesting. When kids call daddies, you know love is no border. Gay people are good parents.

Wedding ceremony is a ritual. People create the environment to feel sanctuaried. Like most of ceremonies, it made the life meaningful. Religion is also like this. :)

Nice Guys Finish Last

2006-10-02T11:30:00.000-04:00

Do we all have some kind of self tortured personality. I remembered when I useed to live in Taiwan there was a slang "if you are not a bad man, women wouldn't like you". Is that really true that we all are some sort of psychi lol? I bet it is and it is the universal language too. People tend to pursue someone who is hard to reach or gave you hard time to like.

Those words came back to my mind lately. W told me that when we chatted online in the begining of the summer. I said "no no no. Nice guys should always finish first." But in reality, we all knew everyone goes after the bad guy. The dangling feeling in our mind was the excitement mixed with the uncertainty. Uncertainty made us try even harder for nothing. Is that the mentality all we have? That sucks!!

Everyone told me that when I am dating someone, I need to play hard to get. I don't like that but it seems I have to believe it now. Obviously, that reveals how we all try to fit everyone's needs.

It's sad that nice guys always finished last. Maybe this is the man-eat-man society. You should not be naive nor too nice. You will be eaten without warning. Welcome to the real world!!!

Fall in New York, my life and my work!

2006-09-25T12:29:00.000-04:00

September is almost toward the end in New York. It's really the fall season now. Sunny and windy. The leaves turn orange soon. I started noticing sunlight is shrinking and feeling dark. I actually like the fall in New York. The weather is not too dry or humid. Everything looks perfect except winter is near by. :( This year is toward the end soon too. Yeah, I am getting older.

I hardly talk about my work. I work in a custom-made business for 2 and half years now. I learn new things everyday which are very exciting. I can't really show the pictures of the dresses that we had made because they are kind of confidential and they don't belong to me.

Work is so much fun. I actually execute some part of the clothing, mostly cutting and pattern making, sometimes sketches. I am learning draping right now. Oh, I didn't study fashion at all in school. Draping is probably the most creative part in making clothes. How the fabric falls would really change the look of the cloth.

It's kind of the landmark to me that I work for this company in such a long time. And, I still enjoy it although I have to struggle with my bills all the time. Unlike most of people who work in fashion, we make the clothes in house. It means no outsourcing and no overseas conversation. I can't daydream in a cubicle since we don't have one at all. :p

I am starting a new project with my friends right now. We want to achieve the goal that every mom who nurses her own baby still dress beautifully. My couture fashion experience might help. :) Stay tune!!!!

Crossroad

2006-09-24T17:45:00.000-04:00

How many times firends actually came across in our life and left? I guessed it's a lot. Sometimes, they came back again. That is blessed. But, sometimes they don't. I guessed it meant something to all of us. ABC has a new show called "6 degrees". It was interesting that they show everyone would come across to each other without knowing they actually do it.

I recently read two blogs of friends of mine. One is in New York and the other one is in Europe. They enlightened my memory so vividly that I started to re-trace my past.

Summer 1997 was long time ago. It was before 2001 when the time we never thought about airplane would fall like a bird was shot by a gun. I just got out of Navy for 10 days and went on my first foreign trip. I was in Europe for a month. The sun was shine and the life was fun. Wish you all can see the pictures. :)

I met this wonderful girl from New York when I was in Greece. We had a great time to be travel companions. We had mutual love for people, food, and night lifes. Vacation was short. She went back to NY and then I wandered in Europe for aother while. We met in New York again after I moved here. She showed me around. Met people. Life got busy between each other. We lost contact again. Then, we would meet each other on the street in New York. Or, we would meet in the drawing studio. The link never last long. Then, She started her public blog a while ago so we linked again. I read her thoughts and think she is wonderful.

I met him around 1995 or 1996 when I was in Navy. Actually, I mailed him in letter. We didn't meet until we all got out of the military. We mailed each other back and forth to fill out our meaningless mandatory military life. Then, he went to France and I came to New York. We were on emails instead of real mails. Never saw each other in real life. And, then the mail became less and less. One day, it stopped. A few years ago, we emailed each other again. And, stopped again. Until this year, I found his email in my never-used email account. That was a surprise that he sent me the link of his blog. And, I started reading his blog how he wanted to reconnect to his old pen-pals. That was from 10 years ago.

I don't know how many chances I will have to reconnect to all the people I have come across in my life inclding all my exes. But, I find it's so lucky that we all have chances to meet each other again wherever they are. It might be the fate. We should all cherish the chances, right?

By the way, many articles in their blogs are in Chinese or French.
Here is Krispy's blog.
And, there are Maurice's french blog and his searching for the past - our common memory.

Transgender

2006-09-24T13:44:00.000-04:00

I saw this movie back in June. It was fantastic. I always have trouble to understand this portion of human being although I really respect anyone who wants to be who they really want. I really like this movie. It exposed the dimension I never thought it before.

It's hard to come out. I guess it's even harder to come out as a transgender. It is all very mysterious to me either a man who traps in a woman's body or a woman who traps in a man's body. And, then after the sexual change, what gender they really like.

I never met a person who is a transgender to be friend with in my real life. And, it's even harder to imagine I would date someone who is a transgender. I guess I need to more time to understand them first.

I am very stubborn about whom I like. I think it's a good thing also it might be a bad thing. I felt like sometime I suffered a lot because of that. It's the life. Right? Don't you agree? We all look for nearly the perfect thing in our life. It's worth to wait whatever will happen.

(In a memory to an event that happened to me on Friday!!)

Fear

2006-09-19T14:56:00.000-04:00

I am not really sure anyone would read the line on the side of my blog. I said "I hope one day we all can live in free of fear". I have some thoughts about this world. I know it's a big topic but who doesn't want to live without fear.

HIV started in 1981. It's been 25 years. We haven't found any cure yet. I went to college for public health in 1989. AIDS was the most important topic in my infectious disease class. There were no good drugs at the time. My final report for the class was dicussed how interferone could be next generation of AIDS drug that would help people. I remembered I read lots of medical journals for the topic because I really want to find out what is in the progress. What will it help people in the world conquer the disease? I also rememberd my professor said one thing is always in my mind. She said we have to repect virus. They are so smart to know to survive. If we couldn't find the resolution to destroy them as soon as possible, virus would live with us forever. That would be the nightmare. Now, the AIDS patients would be like DM patients.

This year is 2006. AIDS is still prevalent in this world. We still couldn't find the cure but because of the progress of the medicine. Now, people live longer ever. I have friends who live longer than 10 years. They just look like you and I if they don't tell they are HIV+. AIDS is not a mortal disease anymore.

Compared to cancer, the life of HIV patients can live is way longer. Why do we still have huge fear to be infected? It's the stigma and it's preventable. It's sexually transmitted. Everything comes to sex that would have some stereotypes. So we all have fear that people think we might be sexholic. It's stigmata. It's the guilt who grow inside of us. We are all afriad how we will be perceived. It sounds sad but it's true.

Why do I generate so many thoughts? I haven't read advanced AIDS medical journals since I left my college. I got the test two weeks ago. Before the result came out, I started thinking about all different scenarios in my life. What if this or that. I felt like I am still the same person and I am still conservative as hell. What changed is how people see me although my friends were all very supportive. They said whatever happened they all love me as the same who I was. Joyce even said she would take care of me to aging. I am grateful. Anyway, the result came back fine. I was relieved. Then, I started examining my life path. What I have done in my life! Why did I do those things? What makes me? If I have fear, why I still cross the border to make myself in a shit place.

In my life, I may not be able to escape the fear at all. But, I still want to keep it optmistic. Hope one day we all can live without this fear. Just be us. No judgement.

Comments!!!

2006-09-19T14:54:00.000-04:00

Just need to let you guys know that you can comment anytime you want. You don't need to join blogger.com to comment here.

Dog Sitting

2006-09-12T17:50:00.000-04:00

I am dog sitting Patrick, a Maltese, in my friend's house right now. Patrick is a very special dog. He has a very kind face. And, he loves to play with people. The more people in the room, the happier he will be.

He is on special diet because he is allergied to chicken, beef. All sort of meats. I found it's very interesting. Most of dogs are food crazy. They wouldn't leave you unless they got some food from you. Patrick learned the hard lesson from his allergy. He doesn't like to touch any food at all. Everytime when I tried to feed him, it would take him for a while to finish his food. Amazing right?

He loves people playing with him. When I watch TV, he would just lay on my side like a stuff animal and looks very innocent. The only problem was when I walking him, he couldn't meet with other dogs. He would become very aggressive. I got bit from him one time because I tried to hold him not to attach another dogs. And, he didn't really know what was going on. He thought there was another dog who tried to attack him from the side. The other issue he has is with men who wear long pants. He likes to bite their pants. I don't know what's in his mind but he certainly has some kind of trauma for that.

I may have my own dog one day. before then, I enjoy to take care of Patrick once in a while.

Flip-flops Nation

2006-09-11T13:25:00.000-04:00

I found there is a very interesting phenomena in summer in New York. Everyone in New York loves to wear flip-flops. It's like 80% of New Yorker wear flip-flops to go everywhere in Summer. When I was in San Francisco, I hardly see anyone who wear flip-flops. I was totally surprised. It's not my part of California image at all. I always feel California people are surfers so everyone wear flip-flops.

We dress more casual in New York now. But, still, I think people should know better about flip-flops. If you really want to wears your flip-flops with your suits, you should definitely get a nice pair of flip-flops. It just shows how lazy people can be.

I love summer. Wearing flip-flops is great but please groom your feet before you wear them. And find a perfect fit of flip-flops for you. Just like you would pick up your cloth carefully. Beauty is an universal language. We all want to have some beautiful things in our eyes.

Anglomania

2006-09-05T19:34:00.000-04:00

I went to Metropolitan Museum yesterday. I can't believe the museum jack up their price. It's 20 dollars per person now. What an artsy world now. Obiviously, art couldn't resist capitalization either. Where poor people could enjoy arts. Life sucks!!!!!

Anglomania ran from May to September. Yesteday was the last day in Met. I just catched it in time. :)

I was kind of disappointed with the exhibition. It was kind of small. I thought I would see more clothes than I saw yesterday. Met usually have very good shows. It was very interesting to see how the collection was installed. They mixed the modern pieces with the traditional ones. The old pieces from 17 or 18 centuries were mostly from the book I read already. But, I was really happy to see Alexander McQueens. It was very exciting. One of my favorite was a white dress who was designed by John Galliano. It resemble Greek goddess's dress which I really love and fancy about. I like softness and drapery. It could be a beautiful wedding gown. I personally don't like John Galliano too much from those collections he did for Dior. It's kind of too much for much. I like simple and clean lines.

After that, I walked around the museum. I haven't been to Met for a long time. I found they installed a modern painting gallery. It looks like they tried to compete with MOMA. Yeah, in pricewise too. lol. I really like this new part of Met besides Roman and Greek Statues collection.

I should to go to Met more since they only ask for donation. :p

Step Up

2006-09-05T18:03:00.000-04:00

Ok I am a movie junky. I liked the poster a lot when I saw it on the street a couple of weeks ago. I lookd for the website. The actor was an abercrombie model and then he was in the movie "She is the man". Haha... I almost went to see that movie because of him. When my friend called me to go to see the movie, I didn't remember any of my research. I was kind of tag along with him. I didn't remember him until the end credit showed.

i think the story was mediocre. It's too straight forward. Everytime they broke up to go their own way. The story wasn't very promising to see them come back together. But, I do like those teen romantic movies. Very cheezy. lol

There was a simliar movie, Saving the Last Dance, came out like 5 years ago. That was the first time I saw Julia Stiles. She was amazing in the movie. I admired her. The movie was discussed about racial conflict, dream to be a dancer. It was quite well done.

"Step Up" was about two kids who fall in love from two different social classes. The movie didn't discuss about it that much. The boy dances hip hop style and the girl was a modern ballet dancer. The first funny thing was how they became partners. When Nora's dancing partner injured, she had to find a new partner to practice. Tyler was doing the community service in the art school. She couldn't find anyone who can lift her in the school so she asked the principal to let Tyler to dance with her. How funny it is!!! She wasn't like 300 pounds. lol The other one was the end scene. When they broke up again( Each one broke up withthe other one time in the movie), she decided to prepare her own solo show. Last minutes, Tyler came back and persuaded her to let him join the show. I thought it was kind of ridiculous. But, it's a screen love. They made everything possible.

I like the dancing part a lot. The music in the move was awesome. It was pretty romantic and entertaining.

Little Miss Sunshine

2006-08-29T17:51:00.001-04:00

I thought people don't go to see movies on Monday night. Surprisingly, The movie theater was pretty crowded. Simone, my movie buddy, and I went to Union Square to see "Little Miss Sunshine" last night.

The movie started from Frank leaving hospital after he tried to attempt to suicide. We immediately found out this is a dysfunctional family. A little sweet girl wanted to compete "little miss sunshine" as a pageant but she looks so geeky. A brother doesn't want to talk. He wrote everything on his pad. A loser dad who taught people how to be a winner instead of a loser. An encourging mom with hope of the family. A druggie grandpa. And, a suicide uncle. What an interesting combination in a road trip.

Everyone is not perfect. We all have our weekness but there is always hope in our mind and our life. It's how you see not what you see.

As the movie went on, I specifically liked two scenes in the movie. One was the girl asked her grandpa "Ain't I pretty?" Her grandpa said "You are the most beautiful girl in the world." And, then she asked "Do you think I will be a winner or a loser?" He said to her "If you have courage to get on stage, you are the winner. It's your attempt and motivation, not that piece of jewel." And then the other scence was the brother talked to the uncle how he would achieve his flying goal even he is color blind.

Winner/Loser was the issue going through the whole movie. The dad, Richard, always takes life very seriously and defines people who is the winner, who is the loser. The mom is opposite. It made me think we all like to judge people and define people by what they do. We hardly give people a deeper look and see who he really is. I really like mom's encouraging attitude. It made me warm.

I love that VW small bus. It looks like a toy. And, how they ride them...Hilarious. You should go to see the movie. :)

I like the move that gives us the hope. Like the name of the movie, Little Miss Sunshine. Whatever outside is pouring, if your heart has sunshine, everything would be fine.

Big Fish II

2006-08-28T13:31:00.000-04:00

Hi Hi, I am back. I have been procrastinating for a month. Now, Here i am again. I think writing is so much fun although the language part of my brain doesn't function very well. It means I am very bad with all the languages I have learned. I remembered my college time in Taiwan. One time, I was speaking to my professor and suddenly he asked me "are you foreigned born? you have an accent.". I was like "what a hell". I was born in Taiwan and never left the island before that. Anyway, it's a joke.

I found some comments in my blog and friends sent me emails. I felt happy someone actually read them. Please bear my poor english.

After I posted "Big Fish", I walked by the site I took the picture as you all can see from the blog with a friend of mine, who lives here for a long time. I mentioned to him what I observed. He said it used to be meaned you can get the drugs near by. Haha, how fascinating!! So I start laughing. It was totally opposite. But, there are some similarities in between. They all experienced some kind of heaven-like effects.

Fire Island

2006-07-11T20:44:00.000-04:00

I went to fire island for indepence day weekend. I know I am kind of spoiled lately. Hehe.... It was unexpected. I found out I would have 4-day weekend just 2 weeks before 4th of July. I knew it was late to book any hotel. I didn't want to sit at home for the whole weekend. I tried to contact my friend, John to see I have any possibility to stay with them. John and Tierry have a summer share in Fire Island. Luckily, They were fine with it.

Like most of vacation places, people come to loosen up. I found eveyone is much more friendly than they were in New York City. Drinking seems a must. From low tea to high tea to dinner at home and then more drinking. Everyone is looking for a crazy party weekend. Also, people are wild. I have pictures. They are all X rated haha. I need an another blog to show them.

I really love fire island not because people are wild. I love there were no car in the island. Everything goes on slowly. We definitely enjoy sunrise in the morning and seabreeze in all time. The beach is great although water was still cold in July. I love wood boardwalk. I felt more relaxed when I walked on it.

I was lucky to see "Invasion" on July 4th. That was soooo cool. Have you ever imagined there are 200 drag queens on a boat? I love drag queens. Friends told me you turned into a different person when you are on drag. If we all have soft side of us, that must be it. Enjoying yourself is how I found drage queens are great. The pictures will come later. :)

Italian football players

2006-07-11T20:40:00.000-04:00

http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=it&u=http://www.gay.tv/ita/magazine/we_like/index_categoria.asp%3Fi%3D105&sa=X&oi=translate&resnum=6&ct=result&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dgay.tv%2Bstyle%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DG

This is an awesome link. Check it out with all handsome Italian players. They are so so so cute.

Madonna

2006-07-11T19:48:00.000-04:00

I have been lazy lately. I went to Madonna's opening concert in New York 3 weeks ago. That was awesome. It was the first time I went to a pop concert in New York. I had so many first times in the concert. First time to a pop concert. First time to Madison Square Garden. No I am not a sports fan. First time to see Madonna. So many first times. hehe.

I am really glad I saw Madonna's concert. She is an awesome performer. She really delivered an amazing performance from herself to the whole team. The lights and the sounds and the performers. They are soooo handsaome. She sang from 80's music to the newest album which I didn't listen them all when I went. Yeah, I am a bastard. I should do my homework before I go. Oh well~ It actually gave me so many surprises anyway.

Madonna expresses her political leaning and her concern about the world in the concert. As a public figure, I really like this part of her. She is not afraid to tell people what she likes and what she hopes.

I would go again if she is in nyc again.

Big Fish

2006-06-23T00:57:00.000-04:00

If you have seen the movie "Big Fish", you understand this scene. New York is actually a paradise for many people. Those people who run away from home. Those people who are not happy with their old life. It's tough to live here but also it gives you hope. I really smile when I saw the sneaker over the traffice light. It's so symbolic to me.

2 Drifters and Coffee Date

2006-06-11T02:16:00.000-04:00

It's new festival time again. I missed lots of movies I want to see because I went to San Francisco. I really live San Francisco. So, it's all good.

Last night was the first time I went to see the movies in new festival. The first movie I saw was Coffee Date. The movie itself was well done. I guess I watch too much DVDs from Netflix. Right now, most of movies I saw are way better than those in DVDs.

Love and relationship are always the main themes in gay movies. I like this movie because it tried to discuss about straight-gay in a different dimension. Could a straight man and a gay man be best friends? If gay guys can be best friends, why two guys in different sexual orientation couldn't best friends? Does that make a straight guy gay?

We constantly stereotype people. Guys who love opera, romantic movies would be gay. Guys who don't clean house, don't decorate would be straight. The world always has to be divided to two. Either black or white. Nothing in grey.

The second movie is Two Drifters (Odete). OK, I can't find the original link to the movie right now. But, it's showing in Quad tomorrow. We can read all different reviews from all the websites.

I actually love this movie except the last scene. I saw "O fantasma" like a couple of years ago. It caught me a lot how the director tried to capture the festish in the life. We all have some sort of dark secrets in our mind. The movie transformed those dark side of us to the extreme. My friend, Simone, said it's very disgusting but I did think it's very interesting.

Odete is about two people who look for love and relationship. I guess when people desperated for love, they can be everything and anything. They can do everything and anything to acheive it. It's actually kind of very sick. Love is universal whatever straight or gay. When love turns obssession, everyone actually suffered. I couldn't imagine how a gay guy would turn on by a girl, just she tried so hard to become his ex-lover. Movie is about fantasy. I guess that's how we live in the life. I highly recommend to see this movie.

Two Union Squares

2006-06-06T19:45:00.000-04:00

I went to San Francisco last weekend. It was quite an amazing experience. So, both cities all have Union Square. Union Square in New York is the place I take subway everyday. When I was in San Francisco, I went to Union Square everyday too. It's so funny. They actually quite different. It reveals the charactristics of the cities. Union Square in New York is more political, the San Francisco one is more artistic.

My Ipod

2006-05-21T21:21:00.000-04:00

My ipod was arrived on Wendesday. I was so excited to pick it up from my friend's house in the same night. I went home and played with it and linked to i-tune. It was very convenient and wonderful. I was so happy and became one of ipod owners who support monoply businesses. :p

In my life, I try to use Netscape instead of IE but now Firefox that is based on Netscape. I go to local coffee shops instead of starbucks. I love the diner on the corner to get my burger and fries instead of McDonald. But, I still lost in the jungle of Monopoly. And then, I fell into where I purchased all my stuffs. Local expensive shops or Giant cheap shops. My less than 3 digits monthly salary doesn't allow me have so many choices. I only do one thing at a time. And, then I got panic for a while.

Like the movie, Kinky Boots, I saw last night. The movie also dealed with globalization issues. I felt I can really relate with the movie from a person who also works in a small studio that struggle with the same issues as the movie. There are somethings we all fight for to stay in this world. We tried to be a significant individual instead of a vague face covered by thousands of people.

Ipod is definitely one of the best inventions from past 10 years. It got us supersize HD, strikingly chic design. We as modern people feed up with everything supersize. We got supersize meal from McDonald. We got supersize giant TV, even a supersize email account. Everything has to bigger and bigger in a certain way. I used to have a mp3 player that can be loaded with 20 songs only. Songs have to be deleted all the time because there is no capacity for more. I was kind of annoyed with it. The new ipod has a 30 GB HD. I won't need to delete songs anymore. That is very really cool. Just like my Gmail account, I don't need to delete any email unless it's a really junk. It's so funny that we live in this modern world that everyone become so greedy to get bigger and bigger sizes in everything. We all forget how to organize and make life simple.

Apple actually sells the lifestyle very successfully instead of just machine solely. They approach technology very different as their rivals. Podcast was another thing that attracts me very much. Podcast almost cover everything from language learning to cooking shows. It was so fascinating although it might be just a new form of audio books and videos combination. Ipod actuallly tried to dominate our audio and video life. I don't know what else they can do. Maybe wireless downloading songs. haha. Then, Steve Jobs probably wants to have his own wireless network.

Technology evolves so quickly. It's like we don't follow it close. We are way behind. It's the sadness to be modern human beings.

Kinky Boots

2006-05-21T14:08:00.000-04:00

I love Kinky boots. Drag shows are always my favorite thing to see in the bars. I always admire those drag queens. They can wear those sky-high heels to walk, dance and still make jokes. It's so much fun to watch their performances. They are usually bitchy but in a good way. And, some of them really know how to dress like a real beauty. It's really a joy to watch they performed.

Simone explained to me the difference between "Transgender" and "Transexual" at dinner last night. It's very hard to distinguish two terms. I used to think they are the same. From my understanding now, they are quite different. One is toward the mental part and the other one is more about physical change. We all have some dimensions of ours that happened to be minor. It could be gender, race, sexual orientation. Or, all of them. It's not very easy to understand the minor part I am not in. Like "trans-", I respect and appreciate who they are and what they do. In my mind, they are most brave people in the world. They are not afraid nor shamed of themselves. I didn't have a clue to understand them. It was always confused to me what gender a transexual or a transgender are attracted to. I mean I still have this my own mindset to think things square. But, if love has no boundary, why do I think too much?

The movie was based on a true story. It was about a handcraft show factory in northampton, england. The owner died unexpectedly. The son, Charlie, took it over and found out that the business is in a deep shit. Because of globalization and monopoly, small individual businesses are all dying. Don't you see grocey stores on the corner, local bookshops, coffee shops are all vanishing. Starbucks, McDonald, HopeDepot and Wallmart are everywhere. That's how giant businesses dominate our life in daily bases now. Globalization as you can see here makes many precious skills fading because those skills are either dispised by young generation or not able to be afforded to go on. The invention is the only way we can keep our treasure moving to the new direction and be kept. Also, globalization bring us so many inexpensive and great products. Let us enjoy what we can't before. There are dilemmas there for me.

Transgender issue is the second main topic in this movie. Charlie accidently found drag queens who are men would break their high heels easily when they walk a lot. I would think it's very true from those years I worked in industry. Men usually have stronger movement and heavier set than women. When they try to fit in something that is not made for them. The boots itself couldn't support the figure. They ended up broken easily. Charlie decided to reinvent his handcraft shoe factory to make boots for "drag queens". I think it's a briliant idea. That's the whole story of the movie is how he is going to make it successful.

The movie touches lots of transgender issues also which are really great. We saw how small conservative town people react with a transgener, Lola. When Charlie pursuaded Lola come to work for him as a boots designer. There are many conflicts happening. What Lola is going to wear when she goes to work. Make-up, no make-up. Wig, no wig. How can she win the respect from those hardcore men's showmakers. I really love British gay movies. Stories usually have more depth. I love the opening scene which is a girl/boy tried to fit in a nice pair of red shoes. And, then she/he wore this cute red shoes to dance on this dock in winter time. The scene looks so chilly and grey. I feel like the movie tried to tell us that life is tough if you are different. But, just like that little red shoes. It's the shinny spot to warm you up from toe to head. Life could be brighter if you have a right shoe on your feet. Later on, I found out, he is a boy who happens to look like a girl. I love photography in the movie. It actually reminded me the last scene in "Beautiful Thing". Ste danced with his boyfriend on this very wide plaza between buildings where Ste lives.

One time, my boss told me. If you were a owner of a business, you have to be reponsible for all your employee. They are like your relatives. They work hard for you. You have to fight hard to stay in the business. I saw the same feeling in the movie. Charlie fought so hard to stay in the business because of his pride and workers.

It's really a good movie.....:)

Brooklyn Bridge from the train window

2006-05-17T00:52:00.000-04:00

Art Subjects

2006-05-17T00:10:00.000-04:00

Art subjects are always we concern most. And, it is how I would like to express and choose. Everyone might have different angles to portrait this image. But, that's how I would like to shoot. I have been thinking about the subjects for a while. It was because Kitto who commented my image "Brooklyn Bridge" said she never saw Brooklyn Bridge like this before. I started wondering why I decide to take the picture this way instead of that way. I always like to make my life interesting. Also, I am not an autistic person so I would go for different routes sometimes to profound my ordinary walking experience and discover new beauties. When I am taking the pictures, my eyes always try to look the subjects in a new way and interprete it from my unique view.

That's why we have so many greatest artists in the world although I am not even an artist. :)

Working in the couture fashion, we always have to create more striking and exquisite styles than others. We were trained to have perfect eyes and elegant senses. We would try to make fashion toward the art direction, the real outstanding art. It's an excitment. And, that's why I love my work.

My drawing from old times

2006-05-16T00:44:00.000-04:00

This is the drawing I did last year. We had an student exhibition for everyone in the studio. This was the first time I had mine on. I was really excited. I had another one in spring too. But, I didn't get a chance to take the picture. Otherwise, the progress can be compared. I will have a photo project coming.

I like this picture. Simply, It wasn't the head involved. I still have trouble to draw a better head now. I draw either portrait or body well but not together. It's a funny fact.

Anyone wants to be a model. Let me know!! It's really a joy to draw a human being.

Station

2006-05-16T00:30:00.000-04:00

I capture this image yesterday. It made me think about the station in Japan. Very zen like. It actually is the station in Brooklyn where I live. Green trees and burgendy roof have those effects.

Stairs

2006-05-14T00:43:00.000-04:00

The first image I took it today when I was on my way to meet Hk. I like the shaking image a lot because the shaking image always gives some kind of fluid and mysterious feeling. It's very hard to get a right shaking image I like

Long Island Rail Road last summer

2006-05-09T02:21:00.000-04:00

These two pictures I took it last summer when I was on my way to fire island. It was the train station where I have to switch train. I upload this one in contrast with the last post that shows the station where I live now. I love summer. It's late now. I will post some more pictures from fire island trip. My friend, Jc, said she likes the pictures I post. I was really happy. hehe. Have a good night. I will work on all my comments in my tribeca films.

The subway station where I take subway

2006-05-09T02:13:00.000-04:00

It was one morning in the winter. You can see snow on the train rails. I always like picture that has a long and deep view.

Guys and Balls

2006-05-09T02:10:00.001-04:00

I went to see "Guys and Balls" last night after work. There were only 5 people in the cinema. It was pretty empty. That's what happened with independence movies. Not very easy to find audiences. I generally like independent and artsy movies better. They are not just about entertaining. They always lead you to think and have more depth in the movie. Although I am not against Hollywood big budget movie, I just like to support local small business. :)

The movie is about recruiting gay guys to form a soccer team. It's very much like "Iron Lady" German soccer version with more cute guys in the movie. It was pretty well made. Story was pretty strong. The main character, Ecki, was accidently trying to kiss his teammate and then he was force to come out. And, he wants to challenge his old team because they won't let him back when they found out he is gay. He tried to organize a soccer team in 4 weeks. He wants to beat up his old team. And, he succeeded.

The movie is trying to break the stereotype although they still have some kind of girly gay boys in the team. But It's very diversified. In the centuries, gay has always been described as hairdresser, flamboyant boys, not good at sports. I don't think it's very true. Gay is a sexual preferance. It is not how you can exercise. So what does it mater you can be an good athelete or not. I know lots of gay guys are just athletic as straight or bisexual.

We are caught up by how we would be viewed in the society. And, we constantly have look at ourselves that way. It's very sad. Why can't we all open our mind and listen?

More and more gay sport teams were organized in new york. We see a new generation of gay people who have positive images. Movie is showing that too. :)

Boy Culture

2006-05-09T02:10:00.000-04:00

Boy Culture was the movie I saw last Thursday night. It's been for a while. I got in really early so I ran into the producer of the movie. I talked to him a little bit. He said it's not very easy to find a good gay movie script. So, he thinks this movie was a good shot.

The movie is adopted from the novel by Matthew Rettenmund. It's a story about 3 guys who live in a fancy loft in Seattle. You can see from the poster. Hummm, guys are hot in the movie.

I think the movie is kind of dry for me for the first 40 minutes. It's kind of too much monologue. After that, the movie is getting more and more interesting. Love and sex are always two important topics in gay movies. We are horny humand being. As we all know, we often confuse sex and love together.

It got more substances as the movie went by. It's very interesting that escort concepts becomes like shrink sessions. We all know how we fall in love with the person as we discover ourselves.

It's worth to watch.!!!

Anther Gay Movie

2006-05-09T02:09:00.000-04:00

"Anther Gay Movie" is an "American Pie" gay version. That's a easy conclusion. It's nonstop laughing. It was great for a midnight. I really had a great time to see the movie with Se. The movie is coming to the theater in July. I hope everyone can go to see it. It really push everything to the extreme. I think it's way more than you can see in American Pie. You know gay people. They are always horny and they always want to be stimulated more. This movie didn't leave any imagination at all to any of us. It's like on a rollercoaster. Very strong.

There are 4 characters, boy loves boy, boy loves older, boy wants sex. hummm, it is so much like "American Pie". It all started with 4 boys who wish they would get laid before go to college.

Really sleepy now......i will write more later.

A Perfect Day

2006-05-09T02:08:00.001-04:00

This is the most poetic movie I saw in my Tribeca selection. The movie started with a self-narrated middle age woman caress with her sleeping son (Malek). I found the image very touchy and deep. Originally, I thought they were lovers. hehe. The movie tried to portrait a young man's life in postwar Belruit. Lebanon is the country that is located in west asia right on Mediterranean Sea. I always have some interests to this part of the earth. They are kind of mysterious. I am probably very into anything mysterious. Back to the movie, I understood there was a war in Lebanon 15 years ago. (hummm, that's how great the movies are. we always learn lots of history from the movie.) Malek's father was missing at that time. His mom didn't want to declare her husband was dead even he had disappeared 15 years.

I don't really remember too much about storyline. I will just describe about something that is always in my mind about this movie. First thing is smoking. Smoking is repeated images in the movie. I guess the director must love smoking. There was one old folk said "They can't stop us smoking." The government must just pass the law to stop people smoking before the movie was made. I don't smoke and I am allergied to cigarette pollen. When New York City passed the law to ban smoking in bars and clubs, I was really happy I don't need to smell them and go home with my smelly clothes. Even though I don't go to bars and clubs much.

Malek has a very controlling mom. She wouldn't give up the idea her husband was dead after his absence for 15 years. And, she still kept all his clothes in the closet as he would come back in any moment. She finally went with her son to declare her husband was dead. That was a big step. In the mean time, if she couldn't reach her son, she would call like a crazy. What happens is Malek falls in love with this lovely girl. But, he couldn't be with her. She doesn't think it would go anywhere though she likes him too, because he is a momma boy. It happened a lot in straight relationship. It's a two-women's battle ground, before marriage and after marriage.

Sleeping issue was repeated in the movie too. He has some kind of sleeping issue that he would lose conscious when he was driving in the middle of the street. It's kind of an indication to me. We all have moments we just get lost and no memory at all. The country is also trying to forget the war and the pain from the past.

There are a section Malek was ditched by his ex or not so ex girlfriend, Zeina. He decided to wear her contact lens to drive. Everything becomes so blurry. It was an interesting contrast when we often portrait the near-sight people took out there glasses or contact lens. It has very similar results from very different cause. I love those blurry images. It's kind of rosy and giving the hope for new Lebanon.

Modern people use cell phones a lot. Cell phone were a very important media in the movie. It should call a cell phone movie. Ring tones and text messagings. It's a new way people communicate with each other now. Everyone would have their own ring tone in your cell phone. Everyone becomes so close but also so sparsed. Love and hate with cell phone. Ha.

Men in this movie were portraited as babies. I guess it's probably very true in general. Lot of time men are like growing kids. They need to be taken care of.

I love the way the director controls the lens. The images and color were very natural. I have a chance to see the modern city in Lebanon. They are all high rise buildings. I couldn't really tell what's difference between Belruit and Bogota. Modernism makes everywhere in the world indifference. We should be sad or happy.

Final scene, Malek woke up on a couch near the coast. It's like a new start. He stood up and jumped a little bit and ran. It's a new hope for himself and the country. I think.................

Fat Girls

2006-05-09T02:08:00.000-04:00

Everyone has fat girls inside themselves. We are all fat girls. I love the title "fat girl". It's very preciously giving out the measure that gay people is just volunerable as women. We all have this issue we are hard to deal with it.

It's very true gay men and women are two big group to suffer eating disorder. We look at ourselves. There are always something we were not happy with ourselves. It's kind of pathetic but it couldn't be avoided. How can we be happy people? lol.....It's a long progess.

The Big Bad Swim

2006-05-08T16:39:00.000-04:00

Tribeca Film Festival is finally over. I saw 6 movies in a row from Thursday to Sunday. There were 2 on Saturday and 2 on Sunday. I had to get up really early to catch 10am movie on Saturday and Sunday. When I got home, it was like 2am in the morning. So, it's really like a marathon competition to test my body and mind . I will start my comments of those movies backwards because I don't have my note with my Thursday night movie, Boy Culture, right now. The last movie I saw was The Big Bad Swim. It's a movie talked about a group of people tried to cope with their fear of water and be able to swim. The movie makes me quite happy and joy but I wouldn't say it's a comedy. It's quite different when the movie makes you smile instead of laughing. I like comedy specially romantic comedy. It might make me like a fool but I do like my life has a hope.

So the big bad swim. A handsome coach, Noah, taught his last adult swimming class in a recreation center. He will go on disability after the class. I saw him on Q&A. He is very handsome in person and has quite a deep voice. Yummy. My friend made the same comment too. This group of people come from the level and different situation. Main story line was about 3 characters, a coach, a girl who works in casino and also a stripper in a club, a high school calculus teacher whose husband who teaches in the same school has an affair with someone in the same school. Their happiness and their struggle with the imperfect life.

It's a small topic and often happened in our life. We all have some sort of fear with subjects. It could be height, water, animal, small rooms. The movie tried to tell us that we are all imperfect. It's fine to have a fear. We just need to make small steps each time.

The movie started with Noah who looks so perfect was in a therapy session. (My favorite part of life hehe)He talked about wanting to have a dog and going on disability. I couldn't figure why he needs to go on disability. Gradually, we found that he was trained for the Olympics game as a diver. He slipped and injured himself and wounded a kid next to him. The accident made him very depressed. That's why he is in the therapy. And, then the teacher who was trying to extend her life circle because her husband was never home any more. The first friend she made was the girl who works in a stripper club and also in a casino. It made me think about Atom Egoyan's Exotica. They have very similar stripper scene but Egoyan's movie is more mysterious. The stripper scenes in this movie are very light and happy. I guessed she, the teacher, was lonely with a broken marriage. And then she started to go to the casino where the girl works. She met a guy and had a fling. Everything changed. The third line was about the stripper girl who is very independent and happy to be a stripper. But, I found even so. She still has an issue about stripper inside her. When the teacher told her that one of her cousin is opening a high end restaurant
and they need a hostess. It pays well. Suddenly, the stripper was so mad and said if you have a problem with my job. Then we shouldn't be friends. And she left. I think words are very funny. People talk in one way but we decided to reinterpret subconsciously in the way we guess or think what it would be. It might be twisted. Or it might be not. The judgment always comes from our inside. Learning swimming is the process to rebuild your self-esteem. We all can be some kind of losers in some way. We have a happy ending.

I never have trouble to learn how to swim. hehe. I knew how to swim since I was 6 years old. I found this movie was very warm. It's the humanity we tried to cope with. Life often get us obstacles. How we can take and deal it. It's an art.

The story is kind of not very thin. But I really like it. It made my Tribeca end happily.

I re-edit my HTML. It's so interesting. I have a little experiment with color and style.

Last year in miami and key west

2006-05-04T00:30:00.000-04:00

I was looking for my draping pictures from my digital camera. I found those pictures from my archive. Alright, the truth is those pictures are from last year. I really missed miami and key west. I went there in past two years. This year, my work was kind of messed up and I couldn't find time to match my friend, G's schedule. So, I didn't go at all. Owwww, sunny miami. Hope I get a chance to go in fall.

Can you see me in the first one? I stood in front of a bar in key west. I didn't know what I wondered. lol The second one was taken by my own shadow. That's like every photographer would do. So narcissus!! hehe. The third one is somewhere on the road from miami to key west. I really like the image. It could be anywhere down a tropical place.

I have a thing with photo images since I was in college. I like taking images instead of standing in front of camera. It gave me some kind of security to express myself. I felt like I stop the moment and I can read and watch it over and over again. In the mean time, I also felt like a thief that tried to steal image from people or world expression. I like that.

Photograph really reveals our life unconditionally. Painting or drawing can be arranged by the person who paints arbitrary. I really like taking picutre. But, I also like sketching too. I feel like I take more control when I sketch.

Home Front and Saint of 9/11

2006-05-01T15:23:00.000-04:00

I missed like 30 minutes of the show in "Saint 9/11" I was pissed because MTA had this stupid fixing schedule for so called "building another 100 years new york subway". When I got in, the movie already started. It was an interesting movie. I am not religious at all but I do believe religion should be with everyone instead of making enemies to people who are different from them. This is a movie was delicated to New York Fire Department Chaplain, Mychal Judge. The reason why I picked up the movie is I really want to know how they portrait him as a gay priest. I was lucky I didn't miss that part. They said he didn't hide his sexuality but he is not out either. He is an very passionate person and had lots of love. But, I felt like the movie is kind of flat to me.

I like "Home Front" a lot. It is much better than Saint of 9/11. It was more structured. The movie is not about Pro-War or Anti-War. It just simply talked about what happened with those injured veterans and how thier families were affected. Basically, I am an anti-war person. I don't believe violence would get us to go anywhere. The movie didn't talk about that much those soldiers' belief of the war. Do they change after they got injured? Not sure. I could kind of sense that the main charactor and his family have a strong belief in military. But the documentary is trying to limit the subject within injured soldier's life. It's more about humanity not political statement which avoid the conflict. I think it's very positive.

I have 6 more movies come up. Hummmmm, I feel very excited.
1. Boy culture
2. Another gay movie
3. Fat girl
4. A perfect day
5. Mentor
6. The big bad swim

Stay tune....

Tribeca Film Festival

2006-05-01T01:29:00.000-04:00

Tribeca Film Festival started last week. I got tickets for 8 different movies. I saw 2 movies in the weekend. One was Saint 9/11 and the other one was Home Front. Both are documentary. They are quite touching and very good movies. I will post how I feel with the movies later.

I live in far end of Brooklyn. Lately, MTA declares they will repair Q train during the weekend. This weekend was totally diaster. I had "Saint 9/11" at 11am. It took me 1 hour and half to get in the city. Originally, it only takes me around like 40 minutes. I ended up missing like 30 minutes movie. I was really upset. I felt like when transportation doesn't run on time, we all have to suffered without any weapon we can fight it back. And, then today. I had movie at 7pm so I left my house at 3:45pm. I got Union Square around 5pm. 2 hours traveling time. Huh. I can fly to Chicago easily. What happened with this subway? They just fixed some part of tunnel last octor. And, then it has to be fixed again now. This is the only time I hate to live so far away. Everything is screwed.

I really like this festival. There are 200 movies showing in the city. I wish I have money and time to see like 50 movies. My budget is kind of tight. The festival is focus on documentary and mid-eastern movies( hummmm, I have thought about this term for a while. It's very european center oriented. Mid-east, Far-east. I feel like I should say "west asia" instead. No one ever said England or France are Far-West..lol) The two movies I saw were documentary. I am always a fan of documentary movies. It's real in some way but they are still scripted in a way. If movie reflects our life, documentary movie would be the image of our life. Through it, we felt thing was really happened. And did tell.

There are not so many chances to see the movies from more remote world. Through west asia movies, we would try to understand more about what they think, what they do. It produce more dialogues. I didn't get any of them this time. When I figure out my time. It was kind of late to get any of those movies. It's sad. Hope next year I will get some thing different. :)

I will post a picture of a dress I draped soon. :)